1/1/19

*takes deep breath* The start of a New Year, how nice?

Today everyone is reflecting on 2018. Asking ourselves what are we set out to do this year. What didn’t we do last year that we will fulfill this year? For me, well I started this blog. Something I’ve been wanting to do for some time now. I continued to put this in the back burner, in other words extremely procrastinating. Why? Excuses! I know I’m capable of creating! I mean this is exactly what I try to instill in my son each day. “You can do it” So why can’t I practice what I preach, right. This year Im set out to focus on my mental health, my career and just becoming a better version of myself. This year Im going to eliminate what doesn’t ignite me and what doesn’t benefit me with reaching my goal. Im cutting loose ends, and falling back on who and what doesn’t bring something to my table.

And so I started with changing my number. Of course starting over with a new number you now have to memorize an entirely different number as if thats easy now and days. Currently I’m adding all my girlfriends to a group chat and sending the “Hey it’s Jennie, this is my new number” text, to then updating my number with every bill I have. In spite of all that, the good thing is I now have a clean slate to start off my new year, which also brings me a peace of mind. Im determined to protect my space, my home and my life by any means necessary in order to finding my true self. Cutting loose ends is essential for me during this time of year, especially with renewing who I am. That begins with the people around me. Last year I occupied my time with people I probably had no business being around. Allowing people in my house in hopes of just having company to fill that void of being alone. I began to question peoples motives around me, what I do for them and if they would or could ever do it for me?

I started analyzing my friends here in the DMV especially being that I spent more time with them then I did with my real friends I knew all my life. They say “you are the company you keep”. I began studying each one and it boiled down to having 2-4 friends that I know will be apart of my life for a long time. Those 2-4 friends are currently hold this drive Im trying to get a grip of, their persistence to become better then they were yesterday motivates me to want the same. They push me more then my own mother pushed me my entire life. And most of all they love my son. These are the kind of people I know I want in my life. Not to say we need anyone to validate what we are doing, but who doesn’t want to be apart of a good team. Some didn’t make the cut coming into this year. Selfish of me, I know. However I have to practice protecting myself and my energy. Fuck yo feelings. Some people become leeches, they just hang on for no reason. It becomes utterly draining. They have nothing to offer. Friends from back home began telling me to separate my friends in categories. Something I never thought of. Pretty much separating my night life friends from my work friends and my work friends from my real friends. In real life, we need this shit!

Everything Must Go, isn’t that what they say during clearance sales. In this case, I received the “happy holidays” from a total of 10 different guys. Im not exaggerating. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. People I met in 2016, who I don’t communicate with at all, still sending me the bullshit. The shit is mind blowing! Like dude, I haven’t talked to your ass in months/year and you want to hit me with the Happy Thanksgiving. If you don’t get your ass the fuck off my phone. I want nothing to do with my past, NOTHING! Clearly this alone just annoyed me writing about it, I can not wait to change my number, this being one of my many reasons.

Along with changing my number and being selective on who now has access to me. I can’t help but to talk about social media. That also had to be filtered coming into the new year. I dont want to see club flyers on my timeline, so guess what… UNFOLLOW. I dont want to see Fashionova influencers… UNFOLLOW. I dont want to see Hollywood news… UNFOLLOW. I don’t know you and when we see each other we don’t even speak so guess what…UNFOLLOW that ass. Pretty much went on a unfollowing frenzy. Think about it, what you follow and what you “like” will populate on your explore page. It’s what influences you. To change that you have to unfollow, block or mute. Then begin to follow what really inspires you. I started with hashtags, instagram now has a new feature where you can follow #hashtags. I personally enjoy seeing encouraging quotes, women supporting women, motherhood, women in construction, architecture, beaches, astrology, prayers, shoes and more. There is another world behind hashtags, people from everywhere in the world with the same interest.

in conclusion to end my first post, do your thing girl! do whatever it takes for this year to be your best year. For your mental, for your growth, for your well being. you are all you got in the end, and a happy you if what our babies want.

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