oh shit, 30. but for real, that’s crazy right.
Bro, I have been a Mom all my 20s. Wow. Took me some time to absorb how amazing my 20s really have been. The evolution of growth is real, even looking in the mirror today, I see a completely different woman. This Jennie is not yesterdays Jennie.
My 20s taught me so many lessons, I had to take some time to pause and actually take in that I’m actually going into my 30s. God is so good. It definitely makes you look at life in a completely different perspective. I’m so thankful to have been a witness to watch my son grow this past decade. I can’t believe I was pregnant at 20, literally was pregnant for my 21st birthday. bruh. Never the less I wouldn’t have it no other way. Pun has been the best thing that happened to my life. I have some of the best memories being a Mom in my 20s, a Hot Mom, thank you very much.
Sitting here at 30 surrounded with the people who love me and support me. I’m no longer afraid to do the things that make me feel good. I always feel like I have a lot on my shoulders, with so much going on in my life and doing it all alone with school, football practice, work, homework, all while trying to figure out whats for dinner? I’m just trying to find a balance with it all and still feel like I exist.
Over the past year i’ve decided to do something for myself, I began writing. I would write affirmations on my mirrors, I would have sticky notes at my desk, or near my front door. I would save notes on my phone, on my laptop screen. I’d be driving to work and self record my authentic thoughts, my way of keeping up and not forgetting. I began praying more, just talking to God, periodt. I would be stuck in traffic and be talking to God as if he was physically sitting on my passenger seat and we’re stuck in traffic together. We both would be listening to podcasts, instilling this motivation and positivity into our life, together. I began to absorb this energy and using it as my practice to become a better me. It became my therapy to write about my past experiences & relationship, my organic feelings, I write about my current life, I write about my goals & my dreams. I would wake up and write something, it could be anything! The first time I wrote about my son, my fingers kept typing all while tears ran down my face, my laptop keys were completely wet. Im so open when I am writing. Writing translates everything I want to say. Its the best thing I could do for me, especially growing older, and being a single Mom, sometimes that shit feels lonely. I’ve been leaning more towards taking care of myself, my health, and doing things differently in my 30s. My 20s are out of here. Its been everything to raise my son, he is blessed with so many people who love him, I know my son is happy and doesn’t need for anything, so right now its the perfect time for this Mommy to manifest her goals, to do the things that I love, continue thriving to live a purposeful and meaningful life. I’m extremely proud of myself, who I am today and who I am becoming. I did pretty damn good in my 20s. My 30s will only be greater.
& to my beautiful self… damn shorty slow down, be patient with your process and with this new journey. Jennie, you still have so much time. Be ok with taking every challenge and every obstacle as a teachable moment. Dont think so much, and stop having expectations. No one is like You. Cheers to my 30s!
Happy 30th Birthday to Me, Love me