I didn’t start this blog to pretend I have it all figured out. I started it because I needed a place to be honest—with myself and with anyone else who might be going through the same emotional tug-of-war. Breakups aren’t always final, and love doesn’t always fade just because someone walks away. This is me, sitting in that messy, complicated space between holding on and letting go.
Some days, I feel strong—confident in the decision I made to walk away. But most days, I miss him. I miss the way things used to feel when it was good. I miss the comfort, the laughter, the little moments that made it feel like home.
And even now, after everything, my heart still aches for him.
But then reality speaks louder than memory. I remind myself why he’s not here. Why things fell apart. Why we both deserve better. That kind of reminder doesn’t come easy—it doesn’t erase the love—but it helps me stand in my truth. In which soon I’ll one day share.
I didn’t choose this because I stopped loving him. I chose this because loving him started to hurt more than it healed. That’s the part people don’t talk about—the part where love isn’t always enough.
Every day, I miss him. And every day, I pray for him—not just for me, but for the sake of our daughter. I hope he finds his way, his healing, his truth. Because no matter what happens between us, she deserves a whole and present father. And I deserve peace.
I still love him. I still wish things could’ve been different. But wishing doesn’t fix what was broken. And for now, I’m sitting with the pain, honoring the truth, and learning to love myself more than the idea of “us” & still I ask myself … is this the right choice?
If you’ve ever had to choose peace over passion, healing over history—how did you do it? How did you stay strong when your heart still whispered go back? Share your answers & thoughts in the comments. Chat soon. XO Jennie
Dear God,
You see the battle inside me—the tug of war between my heart and my mind.
You know how deeply I loved, how deeply I still love.
You know how hard it was to walk away, and how harder it is to stay away.
Most days, I miss him more than I can bear.
Most nights, I pray for him—still hoping he finds his healing, his truth.
Not for me. Not to come back to me.
But for the sake of our daughter, who deserves a version of us that is whole, strong, and honest.
Help me stay rooted in the reasons I made this decision.
Remind me that peace is not weakness, and distance is not failure.
Teach me to trust that love doesn’t have to mean staying, especially when staying costs me my peace.
Help me release what I cannot fix.
Help me love without losing myself.
Give me the strength to keep moving forward,
The grace to forgive,
The courage to hope,
And the wisdom to know that healing isn’t linear,
But I am still healing.
Amen.
#thejourneecontinues
LotsofJennie 